Amelia Stankiewicz was born on May 3, 1933 in Kolonie Bachmackie (municipality Suchowola). She is a mother of six, her last child was born two months after the death of her husband who died in an accident. Mrs and Mr Stankiewicz owned a small farm, which Amelia had to take care of on her own following the death of her husband. At the same time she looked after her ill mother-in-law and her children.
In 1974 Honorata, Amelia’s seventeen year old daughter, went to the United States, upon the invitation of the family who resided there. Her daughter taught Polish to the children of the Polish immigrants, while learning English at the same time. She started working as a waitress at the Polish National Home while she also commenced her studies. When her daughter had an accident in 1980, Amelia went over to the the United States. It was the very first long-distance trip of her life. She had the intention of helping her daughter and return to her five children after two weeks. In the end she decided to extend her stay in the US, in order to provide financial support to her family.
Like many Poles, she looked for work through an employment agency in Greenpoint – she did housecleaning in the neighbourhood of Williamsburg. That work lasted for 12 years.
In 1989 Amelia’s son arrived in Chicago from Poland and got married. Amelia moved to Chicago to stay with him and took a job in Elderly Care. After ten years in Chicago she returned to New York.
At present Amelia is not planning to return to Poland. In New York there is a nearby community club and the church she attends. She spends the entire day involved in activities away from home.
Interview conducted by Karolina Łukasiewicz and Ewa Dżurak on 9 November 2015 in New York City as part of the project called “Greenpoint. Transition”. More on cultureshock.pl.
I had a hard life in Poland, because I had many children - five of them, and the sixth kid was born when my husband died. They got drunk on the 1st of November, they were drunk driving. The driver of the car - he broke his arm and leg, but my husband was dead on the spot, fell on the cobblestones, because our road in the village was cobblestones. And I gave birth to our sixth kid on the first January. Then I was thirty six, and had a mother-in-law, she was a good woman, but when she’d taken ill she didn’t get up from bed for 10 years, and I had to look after the children and the farm. That husband of mine also drank quite heavily. He didn’t care about what a waste it was - of his health and his money, and me - living with a drunk, you know what it’s like. I would plough the field all by myself, because once... maybe a year or two years later, I don’t remember exactly, it was a long time ago, you know, when you’re stressed you don’t think. I don’t remember exactly, but the first two years I remember well, because I went to plough the field alone and then still I had to mow it. Then it was harvest time, my brother came, he helped and so did my daughter, we did the harvest together and then put the wheat in a pile and on Monday I already arranged with somebody to do the threshing. And on Sunday my neighbour is hammering on the window, and I say to my mother-in-law: “Mum, what’s going on, why is somebody banging on the window?” And she says “ Go and take a look outside, see, ask what’s happening.” So I walk up to the window and say “What’s that all about?” “Look, your wheat is on fire!” The neighbours had a party and they set my wheat alight. In autumn, in October the children were getting chestnuts off the tree, so when the boy from next door aimed a stone to cast against the tree to shake them down, he hit my son on the head, so bad that his skull cracked, he got a 5 cm gash. I have lived through so much, for God’s sake.
My daughter came over at 17, because my mother’s brother’s son was getting ordained as a priest, was studying and was going to lead his first mass. And my mother’s sister came, from New Jersey and she liked that daughter of mine. So she took her with. So in New Jersey she started teaching children to speak Polish, and she was learning English that whole year, it was in ‘74. She arrived in September and stayed here for that year and she came then, because her friend was here already and a cousin in Greenpoint. This is where she arrived and worked at the Polish National Home as a waitress. Then later they all went to swim somewhere, to a lake and that’s where she’d been hit by a car, she broke her arm and a leg. And so, because that happened in ‘79, and later she invited me, that was after her accident and all that, but it doesn’t matter, and so she was working at a restaurant. She worked 25 years at a restaurant. When I arrived in ‘80, she would get up early at 8am, and go to school to Manhattan, she was nearly finished with her studies. Then she would come back at 2pm, change, eat something and go back to Manhattan to the restaurant to on 2nd Avenue on 7th Street and work until 2am. That’s where she was robbed, she had a chain on her neck or something, they took it away, but she graduated from school and went to work in Brooklyn. She sent me an invitation, I went over... Oh, they refused to give me a passport at Mońki, that was our local passport office. But they refused, so I went to Białystok. I went Białystok, got the passport, went to the embassy and at the embassy they tell me “And who are You going to visit, Madam?” So I say “I want to go and see my daughter.” “And how long do you wish to stay in America?” So I reply “2 weeks.” So they all laughed that I only want to stay there for two weeks. “And why is that?” So I say “Because I’m leaving my other children behind, in America there is only one daughter. And I have five at home.” So I say again “I’m leaving 5 children, I can’t just leave them like that. I am going for two weeks, to visit her, ‘cause she’s been in America for such a long time already, and I haven’t seen her and she had an accident, so I want to visit her.” They gave me the visa straight away and so I came here.
In Poland I felt like I was, how should I say it, like in an open prison. I’ve never been anywhere else, haven’t seen anything. I simply haven’t seen the world. Some say “I did this and that, and I’ve been to Kraków, and to this place and that one.” And I haven’t been anywhere. Except this village, the church, and that market over there, when you needed to buy something, then you had to go. But otherwise never. She did some pig farming, and then she would go and sell the piglets, because she tried to get some money, as you had to build a shelter for them too.
She worked in Jewish homes, for 12 years. Back then they used to pay well for cleaning work - 3.5 dollar p/hour. Twelve years she worked in Williamsburg. The first time she went, she couldn’t say anything. You just don’t understand anything. I’m talking... Oh, my daughter took me there, she knew where to go, she showed me, so that next time I went alone to work in Williamsburg. So we go in, I went right in, my daughter looked in but stopped in the doorway, didn’t go in. So she went as soon as she explained the situation. Said that I don’t understand, that I’ve arrived only recently, that I don’t understand anything, that she needs to show me what to do. So she showed me. When I started on the bathroom, I made the floor wet and left it to soak, then took the dirt off, and again wetted the floor. I Had to do it three times, it was so dirty. How they could live like that, I don’t know. And there was so much dirt everywhere, good heavens.
Chicago in general is like heaven in comparison to New York. Here’s the filth, the streets. When I came back from Chicago, I was on my way to church and I’m talking to myself: “Holy Mother, the wind here - blowing trash in the eyes.” It’s so clean there, and the reason for it is their alleys and that the garbage cans all stand in the alleys and not in the street. And here - all out in the open, in the street. In Chicago there are nice sidewalks lined with trees and flowers growing. Here they have flower beds in their backyards, only the sidewalk in the front. Small sidewalk to walk on. At every intersection there is a lawn, beautiful, flowers, trees, beautiful. Back then, when I first arrived, this I can tell you, it was very different. The people were different... there was more unity - because now it’s really awful. Now it’s awful. Now people are unfriendly, like there’s something wrong with them. And there, whenever I used to go visit my son, when I push the pram with the baby for a walk, the women there would say: “Oh, you must have just arrived, we haven’t seen you for a while. Stop for a bit, let’s have a chat.” The people are really different. Nowadays my son, Saturday, Sunday - he never calls. Hasn’t got the time. Because when they get back from work, they’re soon off again - going to places all the time. Off to a birthday, or some other party. Just carry on and on, without a break. I don’t know. I would prefer to live in Chicago, but there I have to catch two buses from my son’s place, to get to the club. There is no club in the neighbourhood. The children go to school, he also has two kids. When the children go off to school, and they go to work, what am I supposed to do, sit at home alone? And here I get up, wash, dress and go to church, because it’s close by, all I have to do is walk across the road, and I’m at church, and then after, off to the club, spend some time there and come back at 3pm.
Back then, when I first arrived, it was really great. Saturday after lunch, there was an orchestra in the park, dancing, and Sunday again - dancing for the whole day in the park, and today -it’s full of bums and drunks. Back then it wasn’t like that, no.
Here above me, on the 4th floor maybe, live Polish people. And over there, opposite my door on the other side live some Black people. When I take out the garbage, or if I’m carrying shopping or anything else, so if someone is walking past, a woman or a man, they will grab it out of my hand, carry it for me and put it down. And sometimes there would be a man, walking up the stairs to his place, he sees me come out with the garbage, so he will grab it out of my hands and take it down to throw out and then he comes back up. That’s what people are like here. And the Poles... it’s been four years now, in August that my daughter died, no one has even put a foot through that door yet.
