Mr and Mrs Grabas come from Wrocław. They came to the United States in the 70s to visit some friends. After living in New Jersey, they moved to Hamtramck in 1981. In the US, Maria has worked in national councils and at a construction company.
The Grabas have one daughter, Barbara, who carries on many Polish traditions – she is very active in many folk groups. Barbara met her husband, Greg Nowakowski, in a dance troupe for the children of Polish diaspora, where they were learning folk dances.
Interview by Anna Muller, Hamtramck, 2015
Maria Grabas: We moved to Hamtramck I believe... [unintelligible].
Greg Nowakowski: In 1981.
Maria Grabas: In 1981, yes. Well, the Hamtramck were in fact Polish back then. There were very many Poles there. We embarked from Wrocław, but came from New Jersey. We arrived in New Jersey first and later, till to Hamtramck. We had come to visit some friends and we stayed here, our friends moved here and we stayed here. It’s easy here, everything is close. The church is close, the shops are close and the workplace is close. It’s like living at a crossroads. Everything is close from here. But Hamtramck has changed a lot, it is no longer Polish. More and more Poles have been moving away from here. I’ve tried it myself a couple of times, somewhere far away, because Hamtramck is not the same now. It is more dangerous, no, I don’t think so. There were moments it was dangerous here, but now, because other people have moved in, other nationalities, people who stay up all night and walk around town all night, so it is no longer dangerous. It’s safe to go out at night and go for a walk because there are others doing the same. There are less and less people in our churches, more and more churches being taken over by other nationalities. To be honest, I can’t imagine retiring here. I still go to work, it’s two blocks, I mean two streets away where... but actually, it’s my husband who does the shopping, he feels all comfortable here and so on and so forth. So. I would like to move somewhere else now, unfortunately. I’m being totally honest. But our daughter was born here. She was 3 when I took her to the dance school. She has been dancing for 3 years, I have a photo somewhere around here. And she dances to this day, I am very proud of her, not all Poles have children who still want to take part in various Polish celebrations. Or dance, or cultivate the folklore. That is rare. She is still a girl scout. I believe she has really grown to like her Polishness because of our visits to Poland. She has spent every summer break in Poland so she has learned the language. She speaks Polish fluently, she speaks English now. I mean she has got to speak English fluently, but she also speaks Polish very well. Anyway, she married a man who is very fond of everything Polish, which is also very rare. He can dress as, I should be talking about myself, but I’m talking about my children. He can dress as a highlander, he is proud of it, he dances, he is Christian, he goes to church in those costumes.
It was the cheapest place to settle in. You could rent a flat for 100$ and be you’d be able drive to work. Actually, we had little chance of getting better money here as immigrants. All the educated people with MA degrees came here, and they keep working as housecleaners because there is no other work anyway. There are jokes about people going back to Poland and people there asking them: What did you do back in America? – well, floor maintenance. And it turns out the person was a cleaner. Most if not all Poles would work as cleaners because of the language barrier as there is one. Second, we weren’t really, I think that only since the moment we got our Pope is when they started to look at us from a different angle. But we were discriminated against. Perhaps I did not experience it that much because I was surrounded by Poles. The good thing about coming to Hamtramck is being surrounded by Poles, it’s easier to make yourself at home, to find a good job or make friends and have fun and so on. On the other hand, whoever lived among Americans would eventually speak the language better, get better education, better job, everything.
I really think we make a very brave group. Everyone worked to have beautiful houses, cars, and the women are dressed beautifully. It’s not like… we often see Americans born here who are not homeowners, who are poor, more like very poor. And the Poles here work very hard and have made something of themselves. You could find some Poles, individuals just like in Poland probably, who are alcoholics, who are poor. But on the whole, Poles, their women are best dressed, yes, they drive nice cars, have beautiful houses. They live large. To be honest, I am very proud that I belong to this ethnic group.
Barbara Grabas: There are pierogis, kutia, borsch with dumplings.
Maria Grabas: Andrzej was so he made kutia, I don’t know who will make kutia now.
Barbara Grabas: Nobody eats that.
Maria Grabas: Borsch with dumplings, various pierogis. Our Christmas Eve is very unhealthy. You only eat a little bit of everything. Our Christmas Eve is unhealthy. There is soup as well. At his home there was borsch with dumplings, at our place it was cabbage with beans. We came from the same village but there were different traditions at his and my house. We ate a little.
Anna Muller: Your mum upholds even the number of dishes, right?
Greg: Oh yeah, my mum when she does it – there is always straw under the table cloth, white table cloth, and she always makes an odd number of dishes. You know. We start with the opłatek [Christmas Eve wafer]. You know, the whole deal. Completely meatless.
Barbara Grabas: We never had sweets at our Wigilia, his mom always had sweets, there is always sweet table. We never did.
Anna Muller: But you have makowiec [poppy seed cake].
Maria Grabas: Not at the Wigilia, no.
Barbara: Ciocia would make pączki [donuts] sometimes with śliwki [plums].
Maria Grabas: Pączki but made without any fat and nothing, little sugar, that what I remember. This is without egg even but it was delicious when I was little. Everything was oil only, no fat, nothing. Stuffed cabbage with just buckwheat.
Anna Muller: Gołąbki on Christmas Eve?
Maria Grabas: Yup. With just buckwheat, no meat, yes. Different. Yeah. Like I said, everyone, village even, have different tradition.
Barbara Grabas: We’ve done them [Wigilias] at both. Sometimes both in one night and two midnight masses, because his church does it at 10 and then we go there at midnight. But recently we’ve been doing it at his mum’s house. My parents have come sometimes and I’m trying to push for us to have it at our house this year with both sides so we will see if that happens.
Maria Grabas: And one tradition we have at my house nobody was allowed to say mak [poppy seed].
Barbara Grabas: Before 6 PM.
Maria Grabas: And she always tricked me to say mak. You are not suppose to say mak.
Barbara Grabas: So I call her every Christmas Eve, at the earliest I can possibly call...
Maria Grabas: Mama, how to make this ciasto [cake]? I forgot how it's called. „Basia, with poppy seed!", and she goes "Hahaha". Poppy seed again!
Barbara Grabas: Do you remember that song, something on Monte Cassino? Red something. And she says "Red poppies" [referring to Polish military song "The Red Poppies on Monte Cassino"] and I am like "Ha!". And this happens every year, every year...
