People said that in the West there is a paradise. I wanted to check what the paradise is like, but I never thought to stay there, I just wanted to make the dreams of a little boy come true, to see the end of the world hidden behind our mountain. When I was a little boy, I asked my mother: „Mom, what is behind this mountain?”. „The end of the world, my son.” „So I want to see the end of the world” – I would answer.
In 1981 I went skiing to Austria with a friend. December, 13 the martial law found us there. I wanted to go to Canada but the friend did not get a visa, so we went to France. We were waiting for the departure in „Polenhilfe.” I come from Krakow. I did military service in 1980, after December 13, monitions to my parents’ home were coming … I took the decision to emigrate because of the martial law. Reading between the lines of a censored letter from parents I had two „proposals” in case of return to Poland: to come back as a Motorized Reserves of the Citizens’ Militia deserter or prison. Staying outside of the home country was the most reasonable solution.
Abeyance
I spent the first months of emigration in Vienna, hoping that something would change. The first months in France were very difficult and the most important goal was to learn the language, to understand and to be understood. When I arrived in France, I knew only three words in French: „hello,” „thank you” and „goodbye”. At the beginning of the stay I worked physically. A lot of people helped me. Someone who really wants will always find a helping hand. The beginning of emigration is very difficult and often you ask yourself whether it was worth it, but in retrospect you realize that life without difficulty and without problems would be boring and uninteresting.
I had with me very little. I took only one suitcase, then I didn’t think that it would be the beginning of another life. Mentally, I took with me the sense of being someone, confidence (sometimes confused with arrogance), faith and perseverance. This is all necessary to be able to walk your own paths, and also help from the heaven is essential.
Connections with Poland
At that time relations with the home country were very difficult. Two days of waiting for a phone call and it was often in the middle of the night. Letters that often „were lost”. Books and magazines which could be ordered in Paris made it possible not to forget the mother tongue. Today the Internet allows you to be up to date and maintain frequent contacts with the family. I first visited Poland after eight years, it was a very emotional visit.
My son Jeremy studies and works in Krakow, which makes me very happy. Today I have a couple of Polish TV channels, on the Internet I can listen to the radio and on different webpages I can find out what is happening in Poland.
In France I missed Polish dishes, specialties and Polish traditions. I longed for pickles, horseradish, sausage, cheesecake and poppy seed cake. For the Polish language, Polish books. I longed for a bugle call from the St. Mary’s Church in Krakow, because every morning going to work I used to pass the market square…
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